Sunday, November 30, 2008

On Actions and Reactions

Predictions are G-d'ds thing. When set by man, they are usually questionable and in many cases, untrue.

For good cause, good will, self-interest, and the like, AND despite the odds, people are still predicting. Events, ups- and- downs, economics, statistics, politics, improvements, outcomes, are amongst the many things predicted. 

BUT, in case of reaction, no one ever knows what it will be.

Today I say something, tommorow- it was just the lip service of yesterday. But when actually forced into a situation or predicament, we can never predict the outcome of our actions.

BUT  remember-a reaction to an action has the power to change an action in itself.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Doing my Part as a Part of a Whole.

A spark has died out.

multiply that by two .

Rresh tears spill

as i try to nurse my wounds.

Chassidim ain mishpacha,

as jews- kish echad,

the blood of my brother

is my own flesh and blood.

If one limb is infected,

so are we,

cuz we are all connected,

one body.

So when I walk down Kingston,

just after news reach my ears,

inwardly, I'm wondering,

why I'm not witnessing tears.

Children continue laughing,

licking ice cream cones.

Women chatting idly,

to their friends on their phones.

Passing by the nail salon,

I see it filled to the brim,

Who has time to get their nails done,

When there's a battle we didn't win????

Call me selfish.

Call me egotistical.

Fine, I'm overdoing it.

Expectations: Way too high.

The world keeps turning, i yell "STOP!"



But yet,

Who am I?? 

 A mere speck of grime, for even the dust of the righteous are like rubies and gems. 


Life will move on,

the world will keep on spinning,

But we won't stop fighting this battle,

until we're sure were winning.

As another body part ,

to the person that we form,

I WILL to do my part,

aside from cry and mourn.

I have realized the meaning

of selflessness

of giving.

And I will strive to be

a living legacy,

despite my personal pain,

despite the tragedy.

We live,we love, we lose,

and then we live again.


time to move on world----> keep on spinning.

I'm gonna go my part.

and with that,

I know were winning.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

When Reality Strikes

I always thought I knew it all. Had all the answers. Had what it takes.

I walked with my head held high. Then, on one fine day, I bumped into reality.
He knocked over my pride. and I was left alone to pick up the remnants ofwhat was left.


The Pessimist

"Stop and Smell the Roses"

--always thought it was a ryme to a poem,

a lyric to a song,

a saying to be quoted.

...but then I realized that I haven't even noticed there were roses outside.

cuz there arent any.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Prayin to the PC?


i cant talk now, so ill write.

hold on ... im unsure where i should lay my eyes. on the keyboard?

the screen or the siddur on the table?



fine. im done ashrei.

so now i can break a bit and focus only on the screen.

still cant tallk.

i can write though.

forget about it. i just spoke.

so now, im officially prayin, talkin, and typing at once.

always knew i was talented ;)


something in me is giving me this guilt feeling.....



that's it.

no more computer before davening.

or anything else for that matter.

Care to join?

From My Window

2 windows face each other, with the cold street below as an only separation.

From my window, I gaze out silently.
Below, a lone figure gazes up at the window parallel to mine.

He calls out to his children. Voice soothing like spring rain. The children hear him. Footsteps can be heard, as small round faces peek out of the window. At the sight of their father, the children break out in huge smiles. They scurry back inside, only to be seen toppling down the stairs moments later as they rush into their father's loving arms.

I witnessed this scene from my window every Friday night, as a tear ran down my cheek, and a warm feeling swelled in my heart.

Fast forward 6 years.

Two windows face each other.

Below, a lone figure gazes upwards. I hear his voice softly resound. Cold Silence. A window curtain or two swings shut.

The father has come to pick up the children. He calls out, but they do not heed to his call.
Instead, they leave him to pick up the remnants of a heritage they've so blatantly thrown away.

From my little place at my window, a tear of sadness rolls down my cheek, yet a heavy stone of hope fills the crevices of my heart. For still, there, standing amongst the shadows, a father stands, eyes gazing upward. Calling. Waiting for someone to heed the call.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Ready for The Call

Today I learned the meaning of emunah from a very special person  named Esther. 
It wasn't under the most pleasant circumstances, you know. You see, Esther is confined to her hospital room. 

The five of us made our way through the hospital wards.
Visiting people, singing to them and giving them our time and friendship.
And all the while, I thought I was giving.
That is... until I entered Esther's room.

We came in all in smiles. After hugs, kisses, and greetings, one of us asked her: " Do u know what today is?? Today is the day Moshiach is coming! When he comes were gonna dance and sing outside on the streets!! "
I saw Esther's eyes light up. " "What time??"
"In any minute!"
She threw off her sheets and started getting up. "In that case I have to get ready!" We didn't want to cause her any trouble so we reassured her that we'd come get her when he comes.
With that she had a barrage of questions. 
"Will you?? Am I pretty enough?? Am I dressed?? I better go put on my coat! Should I change??"

And there I stood, thinking.
We need to believe in something in order to live. But for someone confined to a hospital room all the time, 7 days a week, finding a basis for belief is so much harder than when you've got it all.
She gave me a lesson I'll truly cherish. Despite what i feel i DO'NT have, the one thing i am really lacking is moshiach. and even more so... despite what I DO have, what's still missing is moshiach.
To get up at any moment. To be ready and prepared. To ask ourselves all the time "Am I dressed well enough? Am i prepared?? Am i ready??"


I know, life is a fleeting being, but a belief remains despite all odds.

so... I ask myself....
Am I ready????

Saturday, November 1, 2008

sooo.... lets farbreng!!

20 bags of chips. 72 girls. 25 niggunim. 100's of inspired thoughts. One farbrengen.

The whole atmosphere. Its all different. Its like I feel a special kedusha inhabiting my heart. My neshama is soaring, taking in the those tingly thoughts in inspiration. disscusion. Slow niggunim that pull at your heartstrings. Fast ones that make your neshama leap with joy.

Come to think of it.... what type of thing is a farbrengen??????

I mean... come on...?

Since when do u stuff a bunch of teens in a room and come back to find them clapping to the tune of a niggun? Sharing their most inner and thought provoking thoughts, inspirations, and aspirations??

"Farbrengen" is the ultimate Lubab trademark!! Speak to anyone. The tisch, the kumzits, etc... None of those beat what we've got!!!

And I'm proud...:)