Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Issues, Issues and MORE issues :)

I've been hearing so much talk about CH lately, I thought I'd shed light to it all with an ever-so-worthy post on my blog.

So, What's new?

Tznius Issues? Check.

The System? Check.

The OTD Crisis? Check.

The Attitude? Check.

The Chutzpah? Check.

The Education? Check.

The Vaad? Check.

Yup! We've got it all!

-Issues, that is :)

So far, I've been hearing tonz about the problems in CH. OH! ...and it's endless!
Have no fear, wherever you go....- (people want to know -jk) - There's always another problem to be found. But guess what?

I Love Crown Heights.
Call me Whatever You Want. But this is my home.
I love living here! I love the diversity. I love the people. I love the Chesed. I love the never-ending excitement of living in such an a-typical (is that a word?) crowd.

But backk to the Issues, here are a few of my favorite (lol. I know, I know. "but I thought you love it here...? I do. Read on.) :

Issue #1- Elevator Eyes

Now, for all you NON-CHers out there or innocent CHers in here that have yet to have heard of this term, allow me to enlighten you with the following scenario:

[Take 1: GO!]
On Friday evening, Miss Stilleto wearer enters the Ezras Noshim of 770 . Instantaneously, 500 left eyebrows (left? k dont ask me) are raised. And Slowly, simultaneously, 500 sets of eyeballs go up and e-v-e-r s-o s-l-o-w-l-y wayyyyy down. And then agian, in that slooow painful elevator stare. And then Stop! as they abruptly stare at those stilletos.
One girl turns to her friend in a whisper "Huh? Are stilletos in?"
Girl Two: No.
Girl One: Then Why-the-heck is she wearing them?
Girl Two: Why the heck would I know?
Girl One: Well, you should!
Girl Two (an obvious OOT): You're Such a Crown Heightser


So you kinda get the picture.

My Take: Its not THAT bad. Take it from me, I DO give elevator eyes.


Thats right! I AM the culprit!

Wait! Let me defend myself (and all others amongst my species):
The only reason I give elevator eyes is because I honestly enjoy looking at cute people and I wish to acknowledge that what they're wearing is cute and maybe even offer some free compliments! Now, I how can I compliment someone if I don't know what they're wearing?
I can't, right?


1 down, ___ to go! (good grief!)

Issue #2: Snobs

And What many mean by that, is "cliquey". Everyone has their own little group and allows no one in. I can't say I disagree with that. It IS true. But that applies everywhere! People feel best with those they feel comfortable with... Human Nature 101, right? Even you finger-pointing out of towners (now look who's talkin ;) Have your groups you ( again the finger pointing) feel best with.

And guess what?
If you're ever feeling lonely in the Crown of the Heights, come on over! It's snobbiness on your part if you dont!

Issue #3- illiteracy

K, Sorry. But I honestly think that this is limited to Oholei Torah-Niks.

The lingo here is cool, but. (lol. corny, I know. I just HAD to add that in)

Issue#4- Textaholics

Well, though thats as true as it gets, ALL PEOPLE (k, I shouldn't be stereotyping- most* people) of ALL COUNTRIES and ALL COMMUNITIES and ALL RELIGEONS all share in ONE G-d. And ONE other thing: Cell Phone Attachment Disorder, or more (un)commonly known as CAD.
I know, I know. You're just jealous cuz you weren't blessed enough to have texting on your phone. Aww. (Thats for you Buy One Get One ;)

Issue #5- Obsession for food

Sorry, But what can we do???!!! With such AWESOME restaurants and cafes around here (yeah right (well actually, Bunchos good)), Just HOW can we NOT?? I mean, its TOTALLY absurd if you dont go out to eat as least once a week, excluding razzles at Noshworld and Javas at Sweet Expressions.
Plus+ Were allowed to eat. That's why G-d created food and were just helping out by fullfilling our tafkid to the highest potential. :) :) :)

Now that We've ridden you of any Potential Negetive Thoughts on Crown Heightsers, you can all vent. But you wont, cuz You've got nothing against us right?

Take It From Me :)

[Cut 2495]

Oh! and PS> The littering issue that's been brought up is the shvartzes fault ( I mean, DUH!???)


  1. wooohhhhooo!!!
    excuses excuses :)
    u rock

  2. lolllllllllllll CH's biggest issues is creating issues...;)

  3. hehehehhehehe!!!
    barf adroable post!!
    love it !!!
    and yes but one get one u loose without txt ( actually i think i loose out more than u ) LOL
    :) :) :) :)
    gr8 article!!

  4. stery i TOTALLY agree with you

    Goldie H

  5. I am an "out-of-towner", but I do love CH. But just cuz I love it doesn't mean I think the community is perfect.

    I am also a snob. Nothing wrong with that. Elevator eyes, on the other hand... not so cool.

  6. I tot agree with Tzivi on that one... Abd were so good at it...
    kkk... guys... and due to the tonz if complaints i am receiving.. (not all here, some people were nice enough to do it privately) I hereby express my deepest regrets to all those affected by my elevator eyes.
    Chatosi. Chatosi. Chatosi.

    but im still gna do it!